A Quick One Intro

Pete: We'd like to, do for ya now, the uh, little, set of numbers which, we call Tommy's parents as you've probably read in the musical papers.

{Pete: And if we've ever played for any of you before, you probably know this piece of reportie that I'm just about to embark on.}

Pete: It's the story, of our mini-opera. And, this mini-opera was something which we did on our second album.

{Pete: And uh, in a way, for in it's time it was fairly adventurous

(feedback noise)

Pete: (to Bob Pridden) It's feedin' back.

Pete: And, uh, it was adventurous cause it was one story which took six different themes of music.}

Pete: And the story, uh, is about a girl guide (pause) who was seduced,

(Audience cheers)

Keith: get um off ya

Pete: by an old engine driver. And it's ya know, funny, social comment, thing, and uh, John Entwistle plays the engine driver,

(Audience cheers)

Pete: the seducer

Keith: the black raper

Pete: Ahh, yes! And I play the girl guide

(Audience cheers)

Keith: get um off!

(Audience member mumbles something)

Pete: later!

{Pete: And (laugh), and, uh, the seduction takes place while the girl guide's boyfriend is away from home, and uh, she's weeping because he's been away so long

Audience: awwww

Pete: and some of her friends say "we have a remedy" and you'll hear that chorus, we have a remedy, and the reme

(Audience laughs)

Pete: the remedy, the remedy is ahh, of course, the old engine driver

(Audience laughs)

Pete: who's a randy old bastard and uh, they they know, that, with, with him she'll be alright.}

Pete: And uh. So what happens is uh, they uh, fo they uh, fornicate

Audience: ohhhh

Pete: and, uh (laughs).

Keith: What's that?

Pete: Pardon?

Keith: What's that Pete? I thought it was a little station outside of Chipping Ongar.

Pete: No no no!

Keith: That's the trouble always sitting here in the back.

Pete: He always gets off at the wrong stop. Any, anyway (laugh).

{Pete: This, this seduction, is rather lengthy. And, because it's so long the, uh, boyfriend, who's very very late indeed and he deserves what he gets never the less he comes in right in the middle of the seduction and he catches the couple in the act. And uh, I'd like you to imagine this scene (long pause).}

Pete: (to band) Assemble the musicians! And uh, {the reason that the seduction takes so long is because Ivor, as, he's an engine driver naturally, doesn't come on time!

(Audience laughs, drumroll)

Pete: (In Ivor voice) "Ohhhh, bloody me! It's takin' longer than usual." He's lookin at the watch he got for his retirement you see all covered in soot. Anyway, in he comes, the boyfriend catches them

Keith: Ah ha! Oh oh, ohhhhhhh!

Pete: (In boyfriend voice) "all over me best persian!"

(Audience cheers/laughs)

Pete: But, instead of rebuking them, duly, duly rebuk, instead of duly rebuking them, as it was, ahead of it's time and remember this was three years ago, uh we anticipated the feelings of peace and love and pacifism and all that kinda thing which were to come, represented as, (mumbles). And uh, and such such is such is life, he forgives them. He sees them there and he forgives them. He loves to watch that sort of thing!

Pete: Anyway, we'll get on with it now, and uh, we'll welcome you to the Frankie Howerd Show next time. And uh, this is,} we do feature normally, {you normally would feature} Keith Moon singing, but today we'll just have to feature him. If you would like to stand Keith.

Keith: Yes, ok now, is that it?

Pete: Yes, and it's called A Quick One, While He's Away. "Two, three."